22 Apr 2014

Apocalypse 2014: Predicted by God Dethroned and Rossomahaar?

Then Death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death. (Revelation 20:14)


I have been through the God Dethroned discography a few times, and was recently re-experiencing The Toxic Touch.  As the growling death of the album occupied the background noise of my cognitive space, some clearly enunciated proclamations caught my ear.

In 2014 they take the world by storm.
We don't know who they are, but they'll come that's for sure.


That's this year, you'll surely note.  A 2014 album?  No, I first listened to it years ago... turns out it was released in 2006.  What we have here is a song about... the future!  Tell me more about what will happen this year.

There's story in the bible, it's written in blood.
Nostradamus' predictions don't go beyond this point.

Apocalyptic raids.
See the horsemen ride.
Apocalyptic raids.
When the sky turns red.

Something wicked this way comes.
The beast is rising. All (hope) is lost.


I can't say I wasn't disappointed when I delved into the lyrics.  Apparently we're in for your standard biblical apocalypse, with some Nostradamus, Hellhammer and Shakespeare thrown in.  It sounds like a good time, yet I almost feel like I've lived through it all before.  From medieval painting greats to galleries of black metal album covers, I've seen it with my own eyes.  The real question, then, is not the what but the when. I'm certainly glad I was fortunate enough to hear the warning in time, but why 2014?  Nostradamus doesn't have an "end" to his predictions as far as I know, not that it would be difficult to massage a few of his prophecies to point to this year.  The bible tends to boast a pretty similar writing style so it wouldn't seem terribly productive to delve into the primary source.  Especially not when there are people out there like the End Times Research Center who have already done the work for me.  A non-representative summary of this research follows:

The numerical value of Barack Obama is exactly equal to the numerical value of the Arabic word ‪أعرج‬ (Araj). The word Araj  means a limper or lamer (a person who cannot walk normally because of a problem in one of his legs).  The reason he is described in the above Hadiths as an Araj is most likely to allow us to know his real name, by calculating the numerical value of his name.

...the numerical value of Barack Obama's first name is equal to the numerical value of Eli

Obama is Gog and that he will attempt to revive Babylon, in which sorcery thrived.

The beginning of the End Times will most likely be within July 13 - 19, 2014, in-sha-Allah.


The center is almost as confident in their prediction as God Dethroned, with an 80% probability that the end times begin in 2014 (19% chance of 2015, 1% of a later date).  The difference can probably be attributed to God Dethroned working with a bible instead of the more mathematically precise Qur'an.  It seems like while the world was distracted by Mayans in 2012, they were missing the out on the real apocalypse coming this summer.

This discovery made me wonder: had I missed other warnings?  Had other bands seen the same signs and made the same predictions?  Turns out God Dethroned weren't the only ones to escape my ears.  I had also slept on... Ragnaroek 2014.

 

The opening track on 2010's "Moscow (The Sanguine Reign of Terror) II" offers a stark enough contrast to "The Toxic Touch."  Viking keys and melodic leads, pagan and powerful compared to God Dethroned's bludgeoning, abrasive modern death.  The viking apocalypse sounds a lot different than the biblical one, as it clearly should.  Less clear is how Nostradamus, the Abrahamic scriptures and the vikings all came to mark the same eschatological apex on their calenders.  More powerful forces were surely at work.  What will become of us?

Вас ждет освобождение
От ваших жалких ничтожных жизней
Вас ждет освобождение
Чрез боль, страх, страдания, ненависть

Сделай мир лучше!
Сделай мир краше!

You will release
From your pathetic miserable life
You will release
Through the pain, fear, suffering, hatred

Make the world better!
Make the world more beautiful!


It sounds pretty good, though I suppose 'better' is a matter of comparison.  That said, even the goriest details sound exhilarating.

Грядет новая раса богов
Грядет эра боли, грядет эра стали

Смрадом гниения воздух отравлен

Дай ему жизнь, очисти от скверны
Стань рукой бога
Убей человека!
Рагнарёк!!!

Coming a new race of gods
Coming era of pain coming era of steel

The stench of rotting poisoned air

Give him what you have selected
Give him life, cleanse from defilement
Become a god hand
Kill the man!
Ragnarok!


Maybe that's the key.  God Dethroned were kind enough to explain in verse how 2014 came into the conversation.  Rossomahaar seem to feel it's obvious enough to remain unsaid.  So I didn't try too hard to dig for clues in the source material.  Instead, I again consulted the experts, this time coming across the Jorvik Viking Center (widely regarded as at least as great an authority on apocalyptic matters as the End Times Research Center).

Nordic folklore has it that after three freezing winters, when there have been no summers in between, the world will come to an end.
...
According to the festival's director, Danielle Daglan, "this really is an event that should not be underestimated. In the last couple of years, we've had predictions of the Mayan apocalypse, which passed without incident, and numerous other dates where the end of the world has been penciled in by seers, fortune tellers and visionaries."


However, Daglan was certain that the god Heimdallr blew the Gjallerhorn (a mystical horn that predicts the coming of the end of the world) last year.
(USA Today)

Pretty straightforward, but allow me to piece together the probable chain of events here.  An unseasonably cold Russian 2010 was correctly recognized by Rossomahaar as the beginning of the end of the age.  Likely the group gained confidence from correlations in the bible, and were further encouraged by Nostradamus.  The alarm is then appropriately sounded via the most efficient warning method available: a free internet download.  Three winters later, the Ghjallerhorn was blown and the prediction confirmed as the world's fate is sealed.

The only hangup here is that Ragnarok was meant to occur (as per Jorkvik) on 22 February.  Recall that according to the ETRC, the mathematical probability of a 2014 event remains at 80%, and I am sure that figure accounts for the lapsed viking reckoning day.  The only reasonable conclusion then is that armageddon will occur in 2014. While these two bands will go down in history as the great soothsayers of the final days, it is God Dethroned that will be remembered as having the edge in prophetic accuracy.  Apocalypse 2014, that's for sure.